It’s been quite a week. One of those weeks that leaves you reflecting on how complex we are as people, and how we are so much more than just a single strength or talent. This week, my husband and I found ourselves in court—and we won. You’d think we’d be celebrating, right? But there’s no real sense of victory. Because the truth is, when you end up in court, nobody wins.
In a way, it feels like the start of an Irish joke: “Command and Harmony walk into a courthouse…” I’m high in Command, while my husband leads with Harmony. You might assume I’m simply driven by Command, handling things in a matter-of-fact way, but I am so much more than Command. And that’s where the deeper reflection lies.
The Power of Multiple Talents at Play
The court case itself had a long backstory. Six years ago, after buying our home, we hired a professional painter to paint the barn that doubles as our office. We paid over $8,000 and were thrilled with the results—until six months later, when the paint started peeling. What followed was months of chasing, a global pandemic, and years of back-and-forth, which eventually led us to court.
My Command strength meant I was prepared for the court case—organized, direct, and focused on getting the job done. But there’s more to the story. My Responsibility talent couldn’t let go of the principle at stake. $8,000 isn’t a small sum, and under consumer law in Australia, the service simply didn’t meet the standard. I had a duty to pursue what was fair.
But here’s the thing—I didn’t just feel the satisfaction of winning the case. I also felt drained. Deep down, I felt bad for the other party. They’re also a small business owner, someone who, like me, probably feels the highs and lows of running their own company. And now, knowing they suffer from depression, I can’t help but feel responsible for adding to their struggle.
The Head and the Heart
Empathy isn’t in my top 10; it’s not what I would call a ‘Dominant’ talent, but it is 14th in my report, the second of my ‘Supporting’ talent themes after Focus. Empathy is about being able to step into someone else’s shoes and see things from their perspective; it’s often about deep feelings. Even though this wasn’t the driving force behind my actions, it was there in the background, influencing how I felt.
When coaching, I often talk about not seeing our strengths as being in conflict with one another, but as complementary. Command and Empathy might not seem like natural companions—statistically, they’re even less likely to show up together—but they both played a role in this situation. The head-and-heart debate has left me feeling emotionally spent, even after we “won.”
We Are More Than Our Top 5
This experience reminded me of an essential truth about strengths: we are so much more than just our top five talents. We rarely use any one strength in isolation. In this case, my Command helped me navigate the court process. My Responsibility wouldn’t let me walk away from something that mattered. And Empathy, though quieter, was still a part of the picture, making me deeply aware of the human side of the equation.
We often think of our top strengths as being the most significant drivers in our behavior. But life, with all its complexity, calls on different parts of us at different times. We are layered and multifaceted, and the combination of our strengths—whether they are in our top five or not—can shift depending on the situation.
As I reflect on the week, I realize that it’s not about any one strength taking the lead. It’s about understanding that all of our talents are at play, shaping how we move through the world, respond to challenges, and process emotions. This week wasn’t just about winning in court; it was about navigating a delicate balance between duty, fairness, and compassion. And in that process, I realized once again how much more we are than just our top 5 strengths.
